Forward to the Past ...

Sometimes he sends e-mails too:

... but I thoroughly approve of this "forward to the past" idea...a cheery maiden dancing at every crossroad, the joy on the childrens' faces as the parish priest invites them for a spin in his new Bentley, families gathered around empty hearths, but glowing with warm inner feelings of self-satisfaction that they weren't living in some godless hell-hole like Czechoslovakia or London. Ah, I could go on - and in my next email I probably will...

The EU?

Yeh wha? There's a 6am now? Jayz, the EU fairly slipped that one by us. ... 6am - well, I never.

Saturday

Hey Dude, looking forward to Saturday. I got some recommendations from "X" about the places to go and the correct poses to strike. Groovy.

I've heard of this ...

I've heard of this "Y". Rumour has it that she can go very wild and cause chaos once even a whiff of red wine passes under her nostrils. Be careful.

Happy Friday ...

Happy Friday! I hope Santy brung you something nice. Are you going up X's house anytime his Mammy lets him out to play? There'll be no stupid girls there.

Xmas?

Merry .. y'know, I've completely forgotten what it is we're supposed to be celebrating. Is it Mick Jagger's birthday? Well, let's wish him many more.

I don't know ...

I don't know - with my fresh, young features I can't get served in a pub.

Talking to girls ...

Talking to girls is out now. It's all about mullets and looking moody to a shit soundtrack - in other words, the country's just like you left it.